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There is one thing that I do not and will not ever understand, and that thing is the fact that nobody wants a relationship anymore these days. Nobody wants to love or to be loved. There is only one thing that the entire world seems to desire, and that is sex.

It has come to the point where it is expected every time, all the time: the first time you hang out with a guy and from that moment on. It is no longer a question of whether you kiss on the first “date”, but whether you fuck. And if you don’t give yourself to him, chances are that guy will never talk to you again.

For those of you who say that you should never have sex on the first date and that you should make him wait instead, it does not work that way. If you refuse, you are a prude that is not worth talking to. But if you give in, that makes you big fat easy slut. He gets what he wants, no longer needs you, and stops talking to you anyway. Either way, you lose.

This is not coming from a girl who gets clingy after hanging out with a guy once or after sleeping with him. I am not a psycho who is instantly in love with someone and expects him to be my boyfriend. It is not that which frustrates me, but the fact that no one is willing to even try to have anything other than sex. I understand that sometimes when you genuinely try to get to know someone, it just doesn’t work out. It happens. However, there is a difference between not talking to someone due to lack of feelings and not talking to someone because you already used them for sex. If you are hanging out with a girl and find no interest in seeing her again, don’t sleep with her.

I feel that too few people see the problem in the way “dating” works 98% of the time. I shouldn’t even use the word “dating” because that is not what it is. Getting to know someone? Hanging out? I don’t even know. All I know is that it’s always “Come over and watch a movie” (so we can actually not watch the movie and just fuck instead) or “Come meet me at the bar” (so we can leave afterwards and drunkenly have sex). You get the picture. Where is the part where he takes you out to dinner? And then the part where he walks you to your door at the end of the night and you finally share that first kiss?  If I actually asked someone that, they would probably just laugh in my face because that shit does not exist anymore.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that having a good relationship is based on being taken out to fancy places or being bought expensive gifts. I don’t need a nice dinner at a restaurant, you can make me shitty lunch meat sandwiches for a picnic in the park. I don’t need roses, you can pick me dandelions from someone else’s backyard. You don’t need to buy me a Tiffany’s necklace, I’d be happy with a stupid string bracelet that took you a million hours to make because you’re a dude. All I am asking for are simple gestures, ones that say “you are worth more to me than just sex.” Is that so much to ask for? Apparently it is.

I should probably throw it out there that I am not referring to every single guy in the world, but I am referring to the majority of them. These words also do not only apply specifically to guys, but girls too because there millions of them out there who do just the same thing.

For the 2% rest of the world who are in love or are falling in love, treasure the fact that you have found a wonderful person in your life, something that is truly rare to find. I envy you and hope that one day, someone will beat the odds and prove me wrong. All you lucky ones, keep on lovin’.

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i wish

…i had time to draw

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I want to know what’s going on in that pretty little head of yours, where everyday’s a bone palace ballet.
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i cant fucking draw curtains

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…Put me out like a cigarette.
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We sit on front porches and swing life away.
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